I am looking for a mentor, please

  • I really need a mentor, this is my fourth atempt and I don't think I can do this alone

  • Hi, Hannah. I am not a mentor. I am actually praying for God to guide my thoughts on finishing this course, taking a mentorship course and becoming one. I'm not sure how it all works but my heart is really full over it right now.
    I first found SCF many years ago, I went to do the Lord's Table course but noticed one on Smoking Cessation. I thought that would be much more difficult to do, so I chose to do that course first and then the Lord's Table. I had tried to quit smoking for over 20 years and totally failed time and time and time again. Even when I went through months to a year of not smoking - I was miserable, made others miserable and did not stop craving cigarettes once in all that time. When I took the SCF course ... it literally CHANGED MY LIFE. I actually have a ladies group for Bible study, prayer and such and we did our very first ladies event this year and my part of the speaking was on how I quit smoking and used this study. I had a fantastic mentor who continually guided me to Jesus, wisely led me to the Truth and showed me the light of what the WORD said about smoking. I quit with less suffering than ever before, the cravings quit after a short time and I had peace.
    I am now taking The Lord's Table for - I don't recall how many times I've started it, almost finished or maybe even finished. It wasn't the time. Now is.
    SOOOO, even thought I'm not a mentor ... I can relate to what you wrote and I would be glad to team up with you as we go through this course together. Let me know if this is something you would like to pray over.

  • I am considering being a mentor once I succeed through this course as well. This is my second time starting and I agree, the first time just wasnt the time yet. Now it is. God has put it in my heart that WE are working on putting gluttony in the past. One by one He has broken my stringholds and none of them happened overnight. Now is the time for this one. I hope we can be there for each other through this forum since there does seem to be a shortage of mentors for the course.

  • It was such a blessing to see this reply, Monica. I have been listening to and watching some testimonies, sermons, and such on this site and I am moved deeply by what is going into my heart. Maybe the LORD is calling us to gain victory in this area and maybe will fill a need within us and for others in possibly mentoring. Meanwhile, it would be nice to connect with someone else/others as we both (and more) and share it and the possible mentoring after as well!

  • I agree Sandy! Nice to meet you!
    So, my question is, how to handle when your family goes out to eat and you are not quite at the level of hungry you need to be yet. Possibly, get a doggie bag and eat it later? And how to handle dessert. Just never eat dessert anymore? I know i dont need it daily but dessert is usually eaten a little bit after your meal so technically you are no longer hungry. Am I putting too much thought into this and trying to do this on my own effort? This is where a mentor would be helpful.

  • @Monica-Joslin I was just in that situation yesterday! I ended up spending the day out of town yesterday with family and we went out to eat twice. I FELT really hungry both times, to be honest. I ordered what would nourish my body the most the first time and then just ordered to put something in my stomach the last. Anyway, I think your idea is the right one for the restaurant food when you aren't fully hungry yet. We are usually at places like that together ... so we can focus on the moment and the memory. We don't have to eat to do that. We can just choose something we would like to eat when we are hungry and order it towards the end of the meal to take with us. Then, when we are truly hungry, it is there for us to eat.
    As far as desserts, I used to see dessert as an actual part of a meal and felt the meal was not complete without it. When one of my doctors told me my body wasn't handling sugar well, I started being aware of where I could cut it out. I stopped drinking it in coffee (that was the hardest) and then stopped having desserts when I went out. Now, I'm working on praying for God's guidance - if we draw to Him and stay filled to OVERflowing of His Word... we will hear His truths more often and more clearly, from what I can tell.
    I am trying to just be aware. This body is the temple of God's Holy Spirit. I can eat dessert any time I want if I am hungry and it won't defile me BUT I can choose when it is wise and maybe not so wise.
    Our bodies do not ever need dessert in my opinion but sometimes, I eat them. Sometimes, you will likely eat them and that is fine as long as we are just enjoying them for that moment and not actually feeding on them. Does that make sense?
    Let's explore this together as we keep hiking and walking on this adventure! Share what God is showing us as we go and so on!

  • Yes, I agree. I am starting to understand true hunger and what to wait for. I agree with the desserts as well but if I am hungry and have a hankering for something sweet then eat it and see how I feel. My thoughts for today is in the lesson we delved into suffering with Christ. Now, understand, I am pmsing right now and my attitude tends to go to the negative side at this time. But reading that I felt like it was trying to say we are to be miserable and like it! Lol I know that cant be right. I get that we are to deny what is not good for us. And to deny our gluttinous spirit can cause suffering but I am trying to think of all things that I need to let go of. This flesh sure does fight this by trying to make me feel if I cant do it all right then dont do any of it. But the best, most freeing thing I have learned is...I can NOT do this in my effort. God has lead me here. This sin is what we are changing. He has me covered. He will change me. He will show me. All I have to do is draw closer to Him. I hope all is well with you all today!

  • @Monica-Joslin What lesson are you on?! My lesson yesterday was one on suffering and I thought it would be neat if we were around the same place in the course!
    It has taken me so many years to wrap my mind and grasp my acceptance on the whole true hunger thing but it was way easier to come to than the suffering part. I have really struggled with this over the years ... and for some reason, this time around on The Lord's Table is the first time I sense the soaking in from mind to heart. Like... I kept reading about it before but I didn't see why suffering could ever be a positive thing.
    I still fight around this. What I am learning is that there are many types of suffering that each and every person goes through but when we suffer for/through good things (like not allowing food to rule us, exercising when we can't stand the thought of it, and so on) we do so by God's power and not our own. I think I read here or somewhere else (probably both!) to focus on feeding on God's Word and not worry over what things you can or can't eat. If there are things you do have to cut out, God will guide. Moderation is more the key there. I'll remind myself of that the next time someone at church brings a homemade cake or pie that is so good I either force myself to stop after one piece or don't. It is a process and we are not alone in it! It is all what you shared - There is nothing, nothing, nothing in this or anything else worth having possible without the power of Christ Jesus. I'm going to seek God's Word before I eat each time today so I'm feeding on that first. Do you have something you are working on today? I'm praying for you!

  • Hi Sandy! I just finished lesson 5. I think im getting a grasp on the suffering part. I ran to food for comfort. It would be an automatic relief...although temporary. Now my automatic go to isnt what I do and i can feel the suffering from it. At first I miss it, i feel a little down without it. But the more I practice waiting for hunger and waiting on the Lord to calm me, the more I realize how much I can truly trust Him to come thru. I must pause and wait for Him. Dont go running to the food or start running my mouth (which Im good at!)but just wait....wait and pray and wait...and sure enough there He is. He calms me everytime without fail and then...my stress didnt turn into sin (with gluttony) and my anger didnt turn into sin (by talking disrespectful to someone) and THAT is lasting comfort. Not having to say im sorry for what i said or feeling sorry for myself for binging or acting out. Its wonderful! Its also wonderful to know I am forgiven when I fall short and dont wait like I should have. But practice makes.....closer to perfect lol practice gets us closer to Him. Prayers for you as well!!

  • I find myself wondering, am I truly hungry? Worried over eating too soon. It takes me feeling hungry for a while before my stomach actually growls. Is that what I am supposed to be waiting on? Not just the feeling of hunger but actual growling? I can feel other signs like, concentration is lacking, empty feeling...that sort of thing.

  • @Monica-Joslin I am working through the same thing, Monica. It is kind of like intuitive eating in a sense. It is something I truly felt I heard God tell me at the start of this new year. Before the year started, I was searching through healthy eating plans, diets, health and wellness programs and so on. I have tried quite a few over the years! Anyway, I believe He revealed to me that He created me to listen to the body HE CREATED and "unlearn" what the world has taught while learning to listen and know the me HE created. This is programmed out of us along the way and through the years. Now, we are at a place where we are figuring out what God is telling us through our minds, hearts, and bodies. It is a process. If we keep looking to Him first and leaning on Him for understanding, He will guide us and reveal (maybe bite by bite and step by step sometimes) how to tell when we are truly hungry. He will teach us how much to eat and when to stop. His Holy Spirit will help us to know our own bodies like never before. I'm glad to have someone going through this similar stage!

  • @Sandy-Willoughby In answer to your question, I am going to work on waiting until my stomach actually growls and I can feel those physical hunger pains before eating. I may push it past that but hope to not eat before that since it will be a real indication that I'm actually hungry for nourishment. Each body is different though so you may have to do some trial and error to see if you must wait for those feelings or not.

  • Thanks Sandy! This is for sure a learning process and I am glad to be going through it. I am glad to finally understand what it takes for this to be a lifelong change. Thank God for this answered prayer of learning how to lean on Him for EVERYTHING.

  • I have been waiting a little longer each day. Seeing what it feels like. Today I learned that I really like to eat lunch at my usual time. If I want to be able to do that then I need to either skip the morning snack or eat a smaller snack or else I will have to wait longer for lunch. In all honesty, I could probably skip the morning snack and would have a growling belly by lunch. Im just used to eating that snack so Im like...yeah...my stomach feels empty. While it does feel like hunger is coming, I could probably wait longer. I also had a thought today that as my body learns to trust me that I will feed it (and not deprive it like I have in the past) then those hunger "feelings" wont come so early. If that makes sense...

  • @Monica-Joslin That makes total sense, Monica! Something I've read about and helps me some with this is Intermittent Fasting. It teaches your body to go a certain amount of hours with no food and then to eat as you need it during the "feasting" hours. Even though I'm not following any program at this time, I do think I will be mindful of how long I can go without eating until my stomach growls. I think you are right... as you learn and grow through this process, your body will be nourished from the inside out and you will be able to wait for that growl from a peaceful and filled state. What lesson are you on? I learned something in today's that helped me and I'm meditating on the truth of it but I don't want to discuss anything until you have had a chance to do the lesson. You may be ahead of me but I want to make sure!

  • @Monica-Joslin Sorry, I just noticed that on another post, you shared that you had just finished LEsson 6, I think? I am on Lesson 12 if I recall correctly from this morning. It gets better and better as you go! Just wanted to let you know and give you something to look forward to in Lesson 11! 🙂

  • Thanks Sandy! Today I am waiting for the growling stomach and I am really starting to understand what hungry actually feels like. Now I understand that if I have to question if I am hungry...then, no, I am not hungry yet. I am getting to the point that no doubt about it...Im hungry. Now I know what I am supposed to be waiting for! Ill be ready for lunch by 10. Early for most people but I had breakfast at 5 this morning and that is early as well. Wow, not having to question it and finally truly understand the hunger pangs is so freeing! Thank you Jesus! And thank you Sandy for being here with me!

  • @Monica-Joslin Great going on listening to your heart and hunger from the inside, Monica! I ended up over eating today - I was busy and had some deep phone conversations and found myself eating while talking. That isn't good! You know that goal we shared about in being purposeful or whatever it was we discussed?Yeah, that was a bit down the hill this day. I am in God's Word now and I will learn from this. I am going to do something I think I learned on one of the other times of taking this course - and keep one of my Bibles out and easy to grab at all times. This way, it will serve as a reminder and if I am struggling not eating just to eat (feeding on ANYthing other than the LORD) I can run to His Word and eat from the Bread of Life. It sounds like your day starts around the same time as mine! I'm so glad to read that you are starting to see when true hunger is happening! This is a great step in the right direction and I am thankful to be on this journey with you!

  • Way to get up and brush yourself off! Proud of you! Hope your day is going well! Had some disappointments today but didnt run to food...I did get a little upset but reeled it back in and Thanked God for keeping me from something I want but must not be good for me since I didnt get it. Thankful that God knows better than me and I realize that when disappointment hits. After breakast this morning I didnt eat again until 2! I was busy and not around food so that did make it easier. But now I know I can go that long. True hunger didnt start hitting until around 1 I think. Glad to hear from you! This really helps! Keep up the stellar work Sandy!

  • @Sandy-Willoughby Hi Sandy, I was just reading your posts with Monica and was wondering if I can join you on the journey. I read through the book, but now I'm going to actually start and do the lessons for real. I think yesterday was the first time I actually waited until I was really hungry before eating. I was out at a festival with a friend. She ate but I wasn't hungry so I didn't eat. She felt bad that I wasn't joining her in eating. But I still didn't eat. When I got home at 9:30pm I was hungry and ate then. Typically I would consider that too late at night to eat. But I ate, do you think that was ok? I know I need to stop thinking the way I used to and to just listen to my body.

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