@Sam-Holt Hi Sam, so good to hear from you. Thanks for reaching out here. My heart goes out to your friend, and I'm praying for him. You are so right the Lord does have a heart for those precious souls who struggle with same-gender attraction. So much so that He gave His own heart, to be pierced and burst open for them on the Cross. I can deeply relate to your friend's concerns and fears. My first concern is when you say he has suppressed these feelings for a long time. I know how it is to live in that "pressure pot". I learned that I needed far more than suppressed feelings they needed to die, and they indeed died at the Cross, simply because I died at the Cross. That Kelly that lived according to her own understanding, the dictates of her flesh and emotions and the ideology of the world, died with the Lord Jesus on the Cross, was resurrected with Him with into new life, a new heart, new desires, a renewed mind and His Spirit that lives inside.
Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Praise God that your friend is a Christian too because he has died at the Cross as well and his freedom from these suppressed feelings that are related to his dead, crucified self, begins with believing this Gospel Truth.
Romans 6:10-11 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.
My best encouragement to you is to keep pointing him to the Cross of Jesus wherein the Lord's death and resurrection his identity can be established. Jesus shed blood on the Cross not only washes away our sins, but it also does the daily work of washing our hearts, our mind, our flesh, our emotions from the desires of sin and the deceptions of sin. It seems that your friend is confusing, his same-sex attraction as being the same type of unity, bond, and heart knitting two Christians have with one another in Christ. That's not what Christ calls sin. Yet I somehow suspect how he may be confusing the two. That's a very common misconception associated with this sin. I simply can not think of anything more sufficient and more thorough than the rushing flood of the pure message of the Lord's death on the cross and resurrection from the grave continually washing over his heart transforming him from the inside out into the image of Christ.
I remember both being a student of Door of Hope and a Mentor of Door of Hope. While the lessons were insightful and very helpful, they were also a bit isolating. They kept me in the mindset that my struggle with homosexuality was somewhat unique and different and required a special dispensation of God's Grace for freedom as opposed to other forms of sexual impurity. This somehow kept me identifying myself with my sin rather than fully embracing my identity in Christ. So personally I don't like to recommend books or teachings that are designed to address overcoming homosexually and I have tried several. They are too distracting in the way they address the "what and why" of this sin and are not cross-centered enough in addressing how to be free of it which is of most important. I love the story of the Children of Israel who were bitten by snakes because of their murmuring against God. It helps explain what I mean so clearly. Their condition was serious and fatal. People were dying a slow agonizing death all around them. Yet God's solution was simple yet profound; Look at the snake risen on the pole and live. He didn't ask them to examine their wound, pick it apart to figure out how deep the venom had gone, and what organs were impacted and how. He simply said, look and live.
Numbers 21:7-8 The people came to Moses and said, "We sinned when we spoke against the LORD and against you. Pray that the LORD will take the snakes away from us." So Moses prayed for the people. The LORD said to Moses, "Make a snake and put it up on a pole; anyone who is bitten can look at it and live."
This was pointing us ahead to Christ. The snake on the pole was representative of sin, and on the Cross Jesus became sin. He was lifted up on the pole and when we keep turning our hearts to Him, He draws out the poison of sin that is running through every part of us.
Sam, I really hope this helps, I'm praying for you and your dear friend.