My heart aches as I consider how I initially lacked compassion for my husband. I was the opposite of a compassionate heart; I had an angry and vengeful spirit. His betrayal hurt me, and I wanted him to suffer for it. I wanted compassion for me, not him. My initial thinking was that if I could make the experience terrible enough for my husband, then he would never want to sin against me again in this way. Sadly, I was living in the old ways—responding in the flesh—and the result of my actions were proof of it.
My husband did feel terrible for his sins against me, but because he felt ashamed and guilt-ridden around me, he no longer wanted to spend time with me. Our marriage problems were compounded by my responding according to the old way of the flesh.
Once I learned the new way of the gospel, the way of Christ and His compassionate heart, things began to change for the good:
I began to show compassion for my husband as a sister in Christ who has her own sin struggles.
I began to show him that I was his compassionate partner in our marriage by doing whatever it took to help him to overcome the world, the flesh, and the devil.
My husband began to see me as a friend; he wanted to unite with me.
Our marriage grew stronger as God's compassion reigned in our hearts and lives.
If you need to cultivate a compassionate heart toward your spouse, then know that we can indeed become compassionate people, not by our own efforts to change, but by the power of the Holy Spirit who works in us (Philippians 2:13).
Even if you feel your heart is as cold as ice toward your husband, God is able to thaw you out. How does He do this? With His immeasurable and relentless love and compassion. We must receive compassion and comfort from God from the supply of His unmerited grace to us before we can give it to our spouses, so that it’s from the overflow of His compassion in our lives that we can be compassionate to our spouses:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (NIV)
As we consider how we can begin to put on a compassionate heart, let’s look to 2 Corinthians 3:18, “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
Question 3. According to 2 Corinthians 3:18, what happens as we behold the glory of the Lord:
As we behold the glory of the Lord we are transformed; we are changed into the same image, by degrees. But you might ask, what is the glory of the Lord? What exactly am I to behold? Hebrews 1 explains this for us: “Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, 2 but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. 3 He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high…” Hebrews 1:1-3
Question 4. According to Hebrews 1:3, Who is the glory of God?
Christ is the Son through whom God has spoken. Jesus is the glory of God. Jesus is the one we must look to, behold, fix our eyes upon if we want to be changed.
Question 5. How are you “beholding” Christ daily? Please share.
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