It is essential for you to remember God’s patience in your own life so that you will have the right perspective when it comes to being patient with your brothers and sisters in Christ, especially your spouse.
As we close out this lesson, let us consider some clarifying thoughts related to patience and forbearance within the context of dealing with habitual sin in our marriages.
Putting on patience does not mean that we ignore habitual sin in the marriage. In previous lessons, we have studied the Biblical response to habitual sin in marriage as given in Matthew 18. It is vital that we first implement the means of grace that God has given, and then we wait patiently and expectantly for the Lord to work.
Living in patience with our spouse does mean that we respond graciously if our spouse stumbles and falls just as we would have them do for us when we sin against them. We should not expect instant perfection.
Bearing with our spouse does not mean that:
Bearing with our spouse does mean that:
I learned this lesson the hard way. I was so impatient with my husband when he was first coming into purity. I wanted him to hurry up and get over his sin struggle so I pushed him to do the things I thought would be helpful (attending men’s group, going to seminars, etc.), but things just seemed to get worse.
The harder I tried to “encourage” my husband to do what I thought he should be doing, the more he seemed to struggle and fall in his efforts to overcome.
I was so frustrated, and I often complained to God asking Him to do something because all the ways I tried to help my husband seemed to fail.
And then one day as I was reading my Bible and praying, God spoke to me through the book of Habakkuk. It is a short book in the Old Testament, and I recommend that you read it today if you have the time. Basically, Habakkuk complained to God, much as I was, “How long, O Lord?” and God told Habakkuk to hold on and wait…change would be coming. God told Habakkuk, “Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told.” Habakkuk 1:5
And the message came through to me that I just needed to be patient and wait. I needed to trust that God was working in my husband’s heart as well as in my heart. And now looking back, I know that if anyone had told me what a marvelous work that God was going to do in my marriage, I would not have believed it.
Dear friend, this is true for you, too. God is working. Be patient. Trust in Him; rest in Him.
You should encourage your spouse but not pressure them or demand results. You must wait on the Lord and believe that God will work in your situation and bring a resolution that is for your good and His glory.
Question 5. Do you struggle with being patient or bearing with others? Please share.
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Peter wrote of God’s patient heart: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” (2 Peter 3: 9 ESV) Notice that God is patient with sinners. He patiently waits for us to repent, and grants us repentance in His time (2 Timothy 2:25).
This patience toward the sinner is to be our heart for one another as well: we want to remain optimistically patient and wait on God to do His work in the heart of our spouse.
Let your heart be warmed and encouraged by God’s long-suffering attitude toward you today, for as you do this, His patience will fill you up and flow from His heart to those around you.
Question 6. How can you demonstrate patience and forbearance with your spouse today?
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