Lesson 17: Gospel-Centered Kindness
Question 6
Confessing your lack of kindness to God is the first step, but you must also confess this sin to your spouse. Confessing to your spouse might seem awkward. You might think: what is unkindness compared with immorality? But I would encourage you to abandon any thoughts that your sin struggles aren’t as bad as your spouse’s, or that you don’t need to confess anything until your spouse does. If you have been unkind to your spouse, seek the Lord for grace and go to your spouse and say something like this:
(spouse’s name), I want to ask your forgiveness. God has shown me that I was unkind to you when I (fill in the blank); will you forgive me?
Don’t worry about how your spouse responds. Remember you aren’t asking for forgiveness to solicit a specific response; you are asking because God calls you to do it (Matthew 5:23-24).
Oh, friend, we are implored as chosen, holy and beloved children (Colossians 3:12) to put on kindness. God loves you and your spouse. He has saved you by the precious blood of His Son. If you and your spouse are believers in Christ then you both are part of the body of Christ; the same mercy of God chose you, the same grace of God saved you, the same blood of the Lamb bought you. It is only right that we extend the same kindness that we have received from our great and kind Heavenly Father, through His Son and His Spirit.
As I learned this lesson, I began to show kindness to my husband in a variety of ways, such as:
Speaking kindly to him,
Helping him to understand his forgiveness in Christ as well as to feel my forgiveness toward him,
Showing him that I loved him and wanted to help him,
Writing loving notes to him,
Showing him that I desired him spiritually, emotionally, and sexually.
Some of my acts of kindness were ignored, some were well received, and some were rejected outright; but by God’s grace, I am continuing to grow in this area regardless of the outcome.
Question 6. How can you show gospel-centered kindness toward your spouse today? Please be specific:
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Tomorrow, we will move on to consider our next Christian grace: humility. Until then, I pray that you will remember the kindness of Christ toward you—the One Who called you before time began, Who loves you and gave Himself for you, Who rose to justify you, Who promises to keep you to the end—and then extend that same type of kindness to your spouse today.