Welcome back, friend! As promised, we will continue our discussion of forgiveness today. I pray that you will find it helpful.
Yesterday, we studied the parable of the unforgiving servant. We learned that Jesus paid off our massive sin debt when He died on the cross. In light of what He has done for us, God expects us to show mercy to others and forgive them from our hearts as often as needed. And if we withhold forgiveness from our brothers or sisters in Christ, then we sin and invite the discipline of God (Hebrews 12:5-8).
It is clear that forgiveness is essential to God and His people, but questions frequently arise beyond how often we forgive. Questions such as:
What does it mean to forgive?
If I forgive, does that mean I’m okay with the sin?
Does God expect me to forget the sin?
Will my forgiveness mean there are no consequences?
Do I forgive someone who is not repentant?
Let’s explore the Scriptures together to find the answers we need.
First, let’s establish what Biblical forgiveness is so that we might understand both what we have received from God through the death of His Son and what we are giving to others when we grant forgiveness.
In the Bible, the Greek word translated as forgiveness means “to release, pardon, and let go.” The implication is that the forgiver releases the right to demand payment for a debt.
When Jesus died on the cross and made atonement for us, He purchased the complete forgiveness of our sins (1 John 2:2). Our sin debt has been canceled because Jesus paid it all! When Jesus cried out from the cross, “It is finished!” He was declaring publicly that our sin debt had been paid!
In Christ, we have received mercy (Ephesians 2:4-10); and this is tremendously good news! Because of Christ’s shed blood, there is total forgiveness of our sins (past, present, and future). Because the blood of Christ covers us, we enjoy a relationship with God, and we draw near to Him (Hebrews 10:20). God chooses not to remember our sins (Hebrews 8:12). He does not hold our sins against us or treat us according to our sins (Psalm 103:10-12).
Question 1. How does the forgiveness you have received from God guide you in forgiving your spouse?
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When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, he used these words, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12) or as Luke puts it, “forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us” (Luke 11:4).
When we forgive others for their sins against us, we are canceling their sin debt to us. In a sense, we are pardoning them and releasing our right to demand payment for their sin against us.
To biblically forgive means that we won’t treat our offender as our indebted servant. We release our right to make them pay. We won’t use their sin to shame or manipulate them. We won’t treat them as if they owe us something.
Forgiving our spouse for their sexual sin is hard. Sin hurts! It is costly to forgive. We’ve only to look at the cross of Christ to see how much pain sin causes and how great the cost. But remember this, we do not pay the sin price from our own pocket. Christ has paid it forward! We forgive others out of the abundance of the forgiveness we have received in Jesus (Ephesians 1:7; Ephesians 4:32).
Question 2. Have you forgiven your spouse for their sin debt against you? Please share your thoughts.
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