I have heard some people teach that if we pursue our spouse sexually enough, then our spouse will never be tempted to view pornography or commit adultery; however, we do not find this assurance taught in Scripture.
Certainly, we are all called to be good stewards of our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:12-20; Romans 12: 1-8) and to do all we can to “quench” the burning of our spouse (1 Corinthians 7); this topic is addressed in later lessons, but today we want to understand the futility of assigning blame and to learn the biblical response to it when it happens.
To see this, let us consider the conversation between God and Adam in the Garden of Eden shortly after sin marred our world.
“But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Genesis 3:9-12
God created and then placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and told them to enjoy everything except one tree—the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Then Satan came along and tempted Eve to eat of the forbidden tree. Deceived, Eve ate the forbidden fruit and gave some to Adam, and he also ate. Sin entered into the world.
I have always been intrigued by the conversation between God, Adam, Eve, and Satan. God knew what had transpired, but He asked Adam and Eve for their version of events anyway. And in their answers, we can see that Adam shifted the blame to Eve (“that woman you gave me…”), and Eve shifted the blame to Satan (“the serpent deceived me”). Satan had nowhere to point the finger, so he was silent.
When we sin, it is common for us to attempt to shift the blame. Adam and Eve felt naked and exposed after they sinned, and they pointed the finger away from themselves. We are their children; we share their inclinations to sin and the subsequent blame-shifting (Psalm 51:5, 58:3; Romans 3:9-18).
No one likes to have their sin struggles exposed, and some will attempt to place the blame for their involvement with sexual impurity in part or whole with their spouse, their parents, their circumstances, etc. Some will go as far as Adam did and blame God. Even the injured party will do this if they respond sinfully, but we are not thinking biblically or correctly when we push fault onto another person.
Question 2. Have you or your spouse tried to shift blame for your personal sin onto each other? Please share.
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