“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.” James 4:1-2
Conflict of some kind is ever-present in our lives. Global, civil, political, and environmental disagreements confront us daily. In our communities, disputes abound regarding education, growth and development, and social concerns. Church history is replete with quarrels over issues like baptism, salvation, and eschatology. In our homes, discord is frequent between siblings, parents and children, spouses, or roommates. Conflict is inescapable because it resides even in our own minds; we argue with ourselves regularly.
When arguments arise, we all have a default position. Some of us get aggressive, we step up to the challenge, and we don’t back down. We argue passionately, and often win the battle, but lose the war. Others of us try to avoid conflict at all costs. We remain silent and suppress our feelings. We would rather forfeit and retreat than prolong the discomfort of the disagreement. And some of us will vacillate between aggression and passivity, depending on the topic at hand.
We are so familiar with conflict that it is easy to disconnect it from our faith in Jesus Christ. We might reason, "Sure, I believe in Jesus. I love God's amazing grace, but what's that got to do with politics, my irritating neighbor, or my child who is challenging me on everything?"
But the truth is that conflict of any kind is meant to be an excellent backdrop for the diamond of the gospel. We must look to Jesus, especially when disagreements arise because it is through Him that true peace and reconciliation can be achieved.
Christ's death and resurrection to save us is the great unifier for believers. Jesus’ finished work on the cross allows us to interact with each other in humility because we know we were all born equally sinners in need of a Savior (Philippians 2:3-10). Looking to Jesus first, when conflict arises, gives us the eternal perspective we need to respond to one another in love (1 Timothy 1:5) and to be a light to our world (Matthew 5:14, John 13:35).
On the other hand, when we engage in arguments but ignore the cross of Christ (1 Corinthians 1:18), we miss the opportunity for grace to abound to us and those around us (Romans 5:20). When we attempt to navigate conflict according to our own understanding, we deny the power of the cross and set ourselves up for destruction (Proverbs 3:5-6, Galatians 5:15).
“For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.” Colossians 1:19-20
In Colossians 1:20, we learn that Christ’s shed blood on the cross is what brought peace between God and man. Now we must “continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel” and trust that if the cross of Christ can bring peace to the eternal conflict between God and us, then it will also bring peace in our temporary conflicts with one another.
“For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.” Ephesians 2:14-16