Let’s continue with the story now and see how this servant responds to this amazing gift he has received:
But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. Matthew 18:28-30
Did you notice how the servant with the small debt makes the same request of his fellow servant that the servant with the great debt made to the king? Were you shocked when the first servant refused to forgive the little debt and had his fellow servant put in prison?
When we sin against one another, we are essentially incurring a debt. This second servant, who owes the small debt, represents our brother or sister in Christ who has sinned against us.
Your spouse’s sin of sexual impurity is a sin debt, but Jesus calls you to see it for what it is in light of His cross. Your sins and your spouse’s sin debt has been paid for by Jesus. He paid the debt with His own blood. He calls you to live in His abundant grace and forgiveness and forgive your spouse, their sin debt, as He has forgiven you.
This is difficult to read, isn’t it? We love the forgiveness we receive from Christ, but when someone sins against us, our flesh gets angry or fearful and does not want to forgive. We might even want to act like this first servant and lash out to hurt our offender. But as we read on, we’ll discover that this type of behavior is contrary to the Kingdom of Heaven.
As you read this next section, notice two things: how the fellow servants feel when they see one servant refusing to show mercy to another and how the king responds when he gets word of what has happened.
31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” Matthew 18: 31-35
Oh, friend, when we refuse to forgive those who sin against us, we distress the body of Christ and invite the discipline of God (Hebrews 12:5-8).
In short, through this parable, Jesus has taught us that our massive sin debt has been forgiven, and if we refuse to forgive from our hearts, we are sinning. We have been forgiven an enormous debt—a lifetime of sin—it is right that we forgive others their small (in comparison) sins against us.
Question 6. Why is it important to know that our own sin debt is forgiven when it comes to dealing with the sin of our spouse?
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If you are struggling with forgiveness today, I urge you to come to Christ with your concerns. Sit at the foot of His cross and consider His wounds that plead for you. Receive His grace and love that He pours out along with His blood for you and be comforted by Him so that out of the abundance of mercy you receive from Him, you will be able to extend forgiveness to your spouse.
In the next lesson, we will be studying more about what biblical forgiveness is and what it isn’t. Until then, may the mercy, peace, and love of Jesus be yours in abundance.