Dear friend, so glad to be back with you today. I am praying as I write this lesson that you would open your heart wide to the infilling of the Holy Spirit as revealed in His word today. He tells us “open wide your mouth, and I will fill it” (Psalm 81:10). In other words, He wants us to be hungry to receive what He has for us, like young birds in a nest who open their mouths to receive the food that their parents bring.
May I ask you a question friend: have you ever spent time awake in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, tossing and turning with critical, self- condemning thoughts rolling around like a never-ending Ferris wheel in your mind? “I cannot forgive myself for that mistake I made. God must surely disapprove of me. I keep asking forgiveness for that sin but I still feel guilty. I feel so weighed down by accusing thoughts about the past that I can barely lift my head.” I certainly have experienced this mental pain. Recurring condemnation for past sin was one aspect of my journey through depression which robbed me of peace in my heart and ruined my sleep. Is this familiar territory for you as well?
Let’s find God’s answer to this struggle in a passage from the book of Zechariah in the Old Testament:
Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him. (2) The LORD said to Satan, "The LORD rebuke you, Satan! The LORD, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?" (3) Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. (4) The angel said to those who were standing before him, "Take off his filthy clothes." Then he said to Joshua, "See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put fine garments on you." (5) Then I said, "Put a clean turban on his head." So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him, while the angel of the LORD stood by. Zechariah 3:1-5 NIV
Question 1. What condition was Joshua in when Satan was standing by his side accusing him?
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Joshua was “dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel” (verse 4). The dirty clothing represents his sin/our sin which is defiling and makes us unfit to appear before the Lord. “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away” (Isaiah 64:6 NIV).
Living in hopelessness, sadness and despair gives the evil one much ammunition with which to accuse us, as he did with Joshua. Notice Satan was "at his right side", which the Bible always equates with "the place of power" (Mark 14:62). His accusations are powerful and penetrating, and our conscience agrees with him in his statements against us. It is an absolutely horrible and extremely discouraging state of mind.
Question 2. Have you ever experienced this kind of accusation fueled by the enemy accompanied by agreement from your own conscience? If so, what was it like for you?
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Harris writes, "I could not forgive myself. Why I do this? Why I am like that? I could not see a way out. Feeling hopeless and confused and negative about my future."
Tori writes, "Yes so much. It was deafening, sinking and almost like trying to beat me down and bury me alive. I was fighting myself and also getting fought with by the enemy. Only death, pain, abuse and the robbing of hope."
David writes, "It is debilitating. It consumes me. It freezes me into a depression that has no answers. Alone and far from God."
Carnell writes, "It is an overpowering sense of guilt and shame. As you dwell on it you become even more depressed because the accusation is true. I felt hopeless and could not forgive myself. I just felt alone and far from God."