Living and growing in the gospel is more than learning about the cross. To grow up into Christ, we must learn to live out the cross in our daily lives and relationships. "Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me" (Matthew 16:24).
In this next section of Paul's letter to the Corinthians, he begins to answer some questions the church had asked him. Having laid the foundation of the gospel, Paul instructs them on the issues of physical intimacy in marriage, single life as a believer, divorce and remarriage, how widows and unmarrieds should live, circumcision, life as a believing slave, etc. in light of the cross.
Let's read the first section:
“Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”
1 Corinthians 7:1-7 NIV
Question 1. According to 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 NIV, please list ways a married believer, who wants to live and grow in the gospel, can apply the message of the cross in their marital life.
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The truth Paul taught regarding physical intimacy in marriage is an application of the cross of Christ. Consider: Jesus came from heaven to earth to purchase a bride. Like Adam, Jesus was placed into the deep sleep of death and had His side opened (by a Roman soldier) that He might have a bride (see Genesis 2:21-22). Jesus now lives in us by way of the Holy Spirit, as flesh of His flesh and bone of His bone, and we live in Him. As we remain in Him, He produces fruit through us (John 15:4). There is great danger in not remaining in Christ, not continuing our intimacy with Him, for it exposes us to great temptation from the evil one (John 17:11-12).
And this same experience of intimacy is played out in marital life. As husband and wife maintain sexual intimacy, according to their individual needs, great spiritual protection is afforded them in their union. But, like Christ and His bride, should there be a break in the intimacy, there is exposure to temptation, which is why Paul declares:
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7:5 NIV
Question 2. According to 1 Corinthians 7:5 NIV, what are the conditions for when and why husbands and wives might pause their sexual intimacy?
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As a husband and wife work out the details of their sexual intimacy, they must always keep in mind that they are a picture of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31-32). Every day in marriage, we can evidence that we are living and growing in the gospel by our desire to live intimately with Jesus and our spouse. The key to fruitful living as a believer is to "remain in Jesus" so that His life flows through us. A key to marital gospel living is each person in the relationship living out the cross so that intimacy is maintained and love flows freely.
Because we live in a sinful world in weak bodies, many obstacles could prevent this gospel-focused intimacy: sexual abuse, pornography usage, immorality, hard hearts, bitterness, rude and unkind behavior, dominating behavior, unrealistic expectations, etc. But the good news is that Jesus is greater than our past, pain, problems, and even our own hearts (1 Timothy 1:12-14, Isaiah 53:4-5, John 16:33, 1 John 3:20). We can come to Him with our struggles. By His wounds, we experience healing (1 Peter 2:24), and by the power of His cross, we overcome (1 John 5:4) and grow up into the intimacy that reflects His gospel (Ephesians 4:15).
Physical intimacy in marriage is an intentional means of God's grace. Satanic influence can be kept at bay by the commitment of each husband and wife to live out the cross in their relationship.
Question 3. What are your thoughts on this passage of Scripture that we studied today?
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