Sylvia and I were married on May 31st, 1986, in one of the hottest places on the planet, Bullhead City, AZ (with a record high of 132 degrees Fahrenheit). I was 20 and she was 19. Our marriage started with what we thought were strong, loving, and good intentions. However, our marriage took a turn not for the better but for worse, though we promised with an oath before God, family, and friends. Our sinful choices and self-centeredness took us further and further than either of us wanted to go or thought we’d go. And little did we know that we would be living through these struggles for the next 17 years.
Years of finger-pointing, blame-shifting, disrespect, unforgiveness, and the like, were the links in the chain that bound our marriage not in unity but in slavery. We had conditional love towards each other: "If you do this for me, I'll do that for you." We needed to learn of Jesus’ unconditional love and how to say to each other, "No matter what you do, I will always love and forgive you, as demonstrated through Jesus’ death and resurrection."
Even though we grew up in the church, we never learned how the gospel is "the power of God" that could transform us as we carry our cross up Calvary’s hill to die and rise with Jesus and become new creations who receive new hearts and a new spirit. This gospel will forever change you and therefore change the way you view and treat each other. You might ask, but how will this take place in our marriage? If your hearts of stone have been removed and replaced with new hearts, then your desires will become those of your Father in heaven over time, through his Son, who died to rescue you and who rose from the dead to acquit you. And by the Spirit, which He put inside of you as a guarantee and seal of your inheritance, God now lives inside of you and you live in him! This is good news for everyone and every marriage!
You might be tempted to think this couldn’t be true of you and your marriage, that your marriage has gone past the point of no return. But allow us to encourage you to continue on and discover how the power of the cross became our ‘stake in the ground,’ and ‘anchor for our soul.’ Come and see how the gospel bound our marriage together with a deep and lasting love we never thought possible.
Question 2. Were you ever at a point where you felt there was no hope for your marriage? Please share.
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Marriage is a special and powerful union! In all creation, there was not found a suitable helper for Adam, nor was it good for the man to be alone (Genesis 2:18), so a special creation was made, not from the ground as Adam was, but from him. The man was made from dust, but the woman was made from the man (out of his side). The flesh and bone that were taken from Adam’s side were handcrafted by God into Adam’s wife. She was special, beautiful, and a suitable helper far above all other creations.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:24
Question 3. Have you forsaken all others for the radical one flesh union of marriage? Please share.
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“God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground" (Genesis 1:27).