Lesson 5: No Longer Two But ‘One Flesh’
Question 2
Sylvia wrote; "Early in our marriage when we were growing our young family, there was a time when Erick and I placed our fulfillment in each other rather than in Christ. We got so caught up in the busyness of life that we placed Jesus aside. Our family dynamics of the flesh became ugly, evil, selfish, and miserable, which made our united front powerless and hopeless. This is when adultery came between us and the grip of our unity was being divided. I was trying to keep our marriage together by doing (living by the law), trying to fix the broken by reading other books and listening to counselors (secular and Christian). But there was one problem: there was no mention of the cross; Jesus’ sacrifice, death, resurrection and immense love was left out of everything, therefore there was no power in the counsel that I was receiving. A lot of it was, ‘you know what to do, now do it’. We spent many years in the trenches together trying to build in each other's lives and into the lives of our children without the power of the cross. The condemnation was getting greater, the love was getting less, along with the flesh that rose constantly therefore there was no resolution or hope for us. Then one glorious day the gospel message was shared with us through Setting Captives Free. It was all about the bloodshed of Christ that was shed for us to cleanse and forgive, to renew, circumcise and transform our hearts. They shared how the gift of Jesus and His resurrection power is free to all who believe, that He paid our sin debt, that there was no more condemnation and that our past has been removed forever never to be remembered again. The beautiful power of Jesus Christ changed our hearts, lives and poured healing into our marriage. He filled us with His amazing power, cleansing, forgiveness, renewal and freedom that only He can give."
A spouse is not the ‘cure-all’ for sexual impurity but the means of grace by which God has given. God gave us this amazing marital union as a means to deter us from sexual impurity by finding sexual pleasure in our spouse alone. If either spouse is gratifying their flesh alone they are not living out what the Lord clearly gave them as a gift, the giving their bodies to one another in the marital one flesh union.
“The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 NLT
Question 2. Are you seeing the need to keep your spouse fulfilled intimately? Please share.
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Again, if either spouse is gratifying their flesh alone they are stealing away the intimacy God gave them (together) by taking away the enjoyment the other spouse could have had. But not only is this stealing from the other the pleasure due them but killing and destroying the marital union (which we will see in later lessons is a union that refers to Christ and the church). As one is finding pleasure in images the other is left alone and in need.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10
As mentioned previously, our sexual union as husband and wife is not to be used as leverage or war because “we wrestle not against flesh and blood” (Ephesians 6:12). Neither should we withhold our bodies when one is in need. Your body is no longer your own and should be given freely to your spouse.