Lesson 5: No Longer Two But ‘One Flesh’

Questions 3, 4 and 5

Sylvia wrote; "Early in our marriage, there were times when my husband had a need for me and I wasn’t there or he would have a need, and rather than coming to me to fulfill him, he found his pleasures elsewhere. However, there were times he would come to me and I would come up with every excuse why it wasn’t a good time. This was an opportunity in my life to seek Christ and pray for my own heart towards my husband, but I also prayed for my heart to desire my husband and be the wife that would keep him fulfilled instead of pushing him away to find fulfillment elsewhere."
If one spouse is burning with sexual desire and comes to the other as a means of pleasure and the grace God has provided, we must remember that this was designed by God to keep the marriage bed pure (Hebrews 13:4). Each spouse should give their body freely in order to help the other spouse from pursuing the idolatrous and counterfeit relationship of sexual impurity. “Because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2).
Let’s take a closer look at the intimacy that we share as ‘one’ by looking to the cross where we are one with Jesus. As we come to the cross we look to see how Jesus did not withhold His body from His bride but offered it freely to her when she was in need (Ephesians 5:25), to be united with her as one spirit just as the Father and Son are One (John 17:21).

Question 3. Are you giving your body freely to your spouse when you see the need? Please share.

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Jesus gave His body willingly and sacrificially, not pleasing Himself but gave up his body as an offering for His bride. He went to the cross, unclothed and exposed to be intimately connected forever with His bride. Then beaten and torn, bruised and pierced, scarred and marred beyond human recognition so His bride could be perfect and pure. Jesus gave His body and laid down His life for you, His bride, was judged and condemned so we could be united with Him intimately and immediately “as one spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:17). “...so they may be one as we are one. 23 I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity...” John 17:22-23

Question 4. How does seeing the work Jesus finished on the cross for you inspire you to give yourself up for your spouse? Please share.

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“Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:5 NLT
The only reason for withholding intimacy from your spouse is to devote yourselves to prayer. Prayer increases your intimacy with your spouse and with the Lord. For example; what we cannot say correctly or put into words can be heard from our hearts while praying together with our spouse. It is a beautiful time to listen to your spouse's heart while kneeling in humility before the Lord, coming to the throne as a united front, giving to Jesus every detail of your heart, which is another beautiful intimate moment with your spouse. You can, if you both agree, put your intimacy on hold, for a limited time to pursue intimacy with Christ by praying and uniting yourselves with Him.

Question 5. How is praying with your spouse increasing your intimacy? Please share.

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Marriage and the Gospel