Lesson 26: Warring Against Our Flesh - God’s Provision in Marriage
Questions 5 and 6
God's Purposes in Marriage
God is very clear in His word that it is better to marry than to burn with passion to such an extent that we fall to Satan’s temptations. It’s better to marry than to masturbate. It’s better to marry than to engage in any other kind of sexual activity, for marriage is God’s provision for strong sexual desire.
Question 5. Why is marriage God’s provision for “burning” with strong desire?
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God gave marriage 1) to be a picture of Christ and His bride, and the intimacy we share together, 2) to be pleasurable for both spouses within marriage, and 3) to propagate the human race.
A United Front
Now, perhaps you are like I was, married but turning to sexual impurity instead of your spouse. When God brought me to repentance at the foot of the cross: I had to learn to humble myself, turn to my wife when I was burning with sexual desire, and ask her for help. I had to be open with my wife and share with her about my struggles and ask for her assistance.
It was a bit awkward and hard in the beginning days to have to go to my wife, Jody, and say, “Honey, I’m burning, I'm tempted, would you help me?”
But when I approached my wife in this humble way, she was helpful, and over time, we became a united front together against Satan’s temptations. Jody wrote the course “A United Front” at Setting Captives Free to help spouses learn to be on the same team, fighting together against the evil one.
To be clear, I am not saying that a husband or wife should use their spouse only as a means to gratify sexual desire. God designed marriage to be a mutual giving and receiving relationship. Physical intimacy is only one part of the marriage relationship.
A husband must learn to meet his wife’s needs: to love her as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25), to live with her according to knowledge (1 Peter 3:7 NIV), to provide for her, to cherish her as his own body (Ephesians 5:29), and to give himself up for her.
Likewise, a wife must learn to meet her husband's needs: to love him (Titus 2:4), respect him (Ephesians 5:33), care for and help him (Genesis 2:18).
Pornography, self-gratification, and any other form of sexual impurity are false intimacy, which makes us self-focused, and turns us away from interaction and true intimacy in marriage. Because of this, we must fight against the temptation toward all false intimacy or “fake sex” experiences.
Question 6. Why is it important to reject any and all false intimacy experiences and only make use of God’s provision for sexuality?
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