Mike writes, "I was introduced to pornography around the age of 14 years old when a friend of mine showed me a pornographic magazine. I was overwhelmed with how beautiful the girls were, and at that stage of my life, I had no idea what sin was. All the guys at school talked about girls and sex; I just thought that it was the natural order of things. This started my addiction to pornography, sex, and eventually, drugs and alcohol.
This time in my life lasted until I was about 35 years old. I was in and out of many relationships; I was an alcoholic, and pretty much lived a completely immoral lifestyle. I was living with a girl who was not my wife and our relationship came to an explosive end. I had lost my job, and I was literally at the end of myself, I was depressed and really starting to wonder what the point of life really was.
But God through His great mercy led me to a Christian man. When I met him, I thought to myself; "whatever this guy has, I want." He was happy and full of love and peace; he just had a glow about him that set him apart from others. He shared Jesus with me, and I gave my life over to Him. Things started to change slowly. I gave up smoking, drinking, drugs, and alcohol. I was going to church all the time, getting involved with ministry, being a youth group leader. I was on fire for God, reading everything I could get my hands on and trying to find out more about my Savior.
Sadly, during this time of spiritual growth, I did not give up pornography or self-gratification. At first, I wasn't sure if it was right or wrong; I kept trying to justify that if I wasn't having sex with anyone then who was I hurting. It was just me and no one else. As time went on though, I came to know the truth that it was sexual immorality, and I was hurting someone. I was hurting myself. I was grieving the Holy Spirit and my relationship with Jesus. Sexual sin was also affecting many other relationships with friends, co-workers, and my church life suffered greatly too. Yet, I didn't seem to have the power to overcome my flesh or stop doing the things that I didn't want to do.
Then along came the internet and porn was right at the click of a button and things started to spiral down more and more. I became increasingly depressed and reclusive; I would have rather sat in front of my computer for hours than to try and have a real relationship with a person. All this time I was pretending to be a perfect man of God, holding Bible studies, head usher at church, yet hiding this disease that was slowly killing me inside. Satan had me right where he wanted me.
I tried everything I could think of to stop. I put filters on my computer. I had an accountability partner, as a matter of fact, I had several. I went to men's groups, promise keepers, etc. You name it, I tried it. I even got so angry once that I smashed my phone into pieces. I discovered through an online search many different online groups, but one really stuck out to me because for one it was free and another it was a Biblically based program called Setting the Captives Free! Just the name gave me hope, so I attempted to go through SCF 1.0 three times and only made it through once, and I probably lied my way through it because every time I failed. I felt so condemned because at that point in my Christian walk I was still trying to live up to the law, which is impossible. I got so tired of failing I stopped asking for help because I literally thought I was a lost cause. I was embarrassed to tell my accountability partner that I failed yet again. I seriously thought that I would never ever be free of this debilitating sin in my life. I even thought about committing suicide more than once because I didn't want to deal with shame and guilt any longer.
Things got even worse when I ended up in an illicit relationship with a girl that I had led to the Lord. It was fun at first, but that didn't last. We went to church together and every time we both felt so condemned that we couldn't go on with it any longer. So, we split up, and sadly she stopped attending church which was worse than anything. I felt so terrible that I had lost that friendship, and she was no longer pursuing the Lord. Once again, I was at the end of myself; I was desperate to find a way out.
At this point, I just want to say, that while all this was all going on I knew in my heart that Jesus was real and that He did die for my sins, in the back of my mind I would always say; "Mike, to whom else are you going to turn there is no one else who is ever going to help you or care about you as much as Jesus does", so I always kept this hope in my heart.
It had been a couple of years since I went through Setting Captives Free 1.0 and I thought that I would give it one last try. One last try to get set free. To my surprise, the Purity course at Setting Captives Free had a whole different format, one based on grace rather than radical amputation. I thought, "Wow! this is new, maybe this time it will be different." I can say that before Setting Captives Free 2.0, I never understood God's grace toward me, I don't know why but I just couldn't grasp it.
Well, I started the course and began to learn that when I gave my life to Jesus, I was crucified with Him on the cross, and I was buried with Him. I had come to know this in my heart and that I was, therefore, dead to sin (I had died spiritually with Christ) and the law, it was no longer my master. I was also raised to life again a new man, one that was alive to the Spirit but dead to sin. I had been transferred from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light, this finally went from my head to my heart and it was all because of what my loving Savior did on the cross for me. He willingly gave His life and chose me over Himself. He took my punishment, all of my vileness He took on Himself. Whenever I'm tempted I just have to think about Jesus on the cross looking lovingly at me and saying, "Mike, I did this for you because I love you, and I want you to spend eternity with me." That just melts my heart, and the desire to sin fades away. I'm not saying things are perfect, and I know I will sin but the amazing thing about grace is that God just keeps extending it to me as I repent and ask for forgiveness. His love for us really is mind-blowing, so unlike this world.
I had been a slave to pornography for over 40 years, that's as long as the Israelites were in the desert, and I never ever thought I would be free of this sin that entangled me for so long. But I can say that today I am no longer a slave to it and that is an absolute miracle, and I owe it all to my Lord and Savior Jesus and the power of His gospel. Thank you, Father, for removing this heavy burden from me. I love You so much."
Mike L.--mentor with Setting Captives Free
Question 1. What are some of the lies Mike believed while enslaved to impurity?
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Mike B. writes, "That there is no hope/he was a lost cause. That he was stuck. That he had to put up a perfect front."
Christopher writes, "Mike thought that pornography was alright because it didn't include other people than himself.This is what Mike was saying:"I kept trying to justify that if I wasn't having sex with anyone then who was I hurting."
Here is another lie, Mike was trying to stop on his own strength, he was following the law, such as don't do this and don't do that. He was not successful.
Mike thought that he could overcome his sin with his intellect but really, Jesus needed to change his heart. And that is when his life was transformed."
Question 2. What part did the gospel (the death and resurrection of Jesus) play in setting Mike free?
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Christopher writes, "The Word of God says we died at the cross with Christ and we rose from the dead with Christ,our sinful nature died at the cross and then He made us a new creation.
Romans 6:1-23: "What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his."
Mike B. writes, "It showed him that he was crucified and buried with Christ along with his sins, but he was raised to life in Christ without his sins. Sin and the law no longer has the power in his life to control him."
Mike B. writes, "That Christ loved him more than he loved himself. He died on the cross because he loved him, no other reason."
Christopher writes, "This is what Mike says about love. "Whenever I'm tempted I just have to think about Jesus on the cross looking lovingly at me and saying, "Mike, I did this for you because I love you, and I want you to spend eternity with me." That just melts my heart, and the desire to sin fades away. I know I will sin but the amazing thing about grace is that God just keeps extending it to me as I repent and ask for forgiveness. His love for us really is mind-blowing, so unlike this world."
Mikes story tells me that God forgives us, and he show us how much he loves us. Jesus died for us, when he was on the cross he said Chris Jr. I got this, I will take the punishment for your sins, I love you so much ,I want you to spend eternity with me, This is an unusual love, no where in this world can we find unconditional love like Jesus love."