Mike writes, “I took the old purity course at Setting Captives Free 1.0 a few years ago, and although not as focused on Christ and his work on the cross, it did introduce me to the real power of God to work in my life.
After about three years, however, I fell back into porn and self-gratification. So I returned to Setting Captives Free, but the course was different. I didn't understand the change. As I was going through the lessons, I wanted to get past all the grace stuff and get to the days that I could count. In short, I missed the boat somehow on what it means to kneel at the foot of the cross and wash in Christ's blood. I probably tried going through the course 2 or 3 times more, and I still wasn't able to focus on Christ, I was getting annoyed with the lessons being so Grace-filled. I felt like it was a broken record and wanted to get to what I could do instead of what I could receive.
But this last time I took the course, it clicked. It has nothing to do with me, everything to do with Jesus. I understand now why it isn't important to count days. It isn't about how many days I can say, "Look, I did this." Instead, I now know that every day that I focus on Christ and wash at the cross is a day of freedom. The moment I start counting my days of freedom is the moment I gain a sense of pride at what I've done.
At one point, I found I was desperate to get to a month without looking at porn or fantasizing about women so that I could finally have another 30 days under my belt. I was again focusing on what I could do.
But each morning this past month, I have woken up, and the first thing I do is place myself at the foot of the cross. I analyze what I am struggling with, what stresses I have, where I am feeling inadequate, and bring them before Christ. I imagine him washing me of that, cleaning me of that, and I know he responds with love. I so want to please him. Not because it will make me worth it in Christ's eyes, but because he has done all that for me.
It really does blow my mind the lengths Christ went to have me in His family. The pain and darkness He entered to have me set free. Man, I got the good end of the deal on this one.
Praise God that it is all about Him, and nothing to do with me. If there is one thing I can say that I have proven with my life, is that I will screw it up in my power. I will fall short. But Jesus' love is sufficient. His power is great enough to cover my weaknesses. I am really looking forward to taking the Gospel and the Church course at Setting Captives Free, and to devoting time each morning in studying his word, praying and opening myself up before Christ, and getting washed at the cross."
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