Philip writes, "I started looking at pornography from an early age. I had reached puberty and had experienced self-gratification. I would wake up early in the morning and turn on the TV to watch the “soft core” porn. I continued in this habit for many years. Then my involvement with impurity escalated when I received a smartphone.
I was brought up in a Christian household and felt guilty about my sin, but I was in chains to this sin of impurity and could not break free. It wasn’t until college, and I was on my own that the Spirit began to convict me of my sin. Even though I “knew the gospel” and believed I was a Christian there was no understanding of the power of the gospel and no real relationship with Christ in my life.
The Spirit convicted me, but I naively believed that by my strength I could break the chains of sin that bound me. I spent six years saying, "Today is the day I am going to stop." I would pray that God would give me the strength; I would put up blockers and buy phones with no internet, but because I relied on myself I failed again and again.
Years past and I got married thinking this would give me the motivation to change, but my resolve only lasted for a week and a half. My prayers began to change at this point to me asking God to do something because I felt hopeless. I had become someone full of deceit, pride, hypocrisy, lies, and all types of sin because of my involvement with impurity and the associated shame. My only hope was maybe one day this will get better, but I just continued to pursue my sin that kept me chained and in deep, deep bondage. I searched for porn wherever I could, and I began to look at it at work because it was hard to hide my use from my wife.
It was at this point that God stepped into my life to free me. He allowed my sin to be exposed at work, and they removed me from my position that same day. I had to tell my wife and both parts of my life, my work-life and home-life, were shattered. God had placed me where I could not run, and I had to confront who I was. I responded by throwing myself on the mercy of God. I spent the next few days exposing my years of sin to my wife and asking for forgiveness. By the grace of God, she decided to stay and support me.
I would pray and read the Bible for hours. My dad recommended the Setting Captives Free Purity course, and I was so broken that I said I would try it. I was expecting the lessons to tell me to throw away everything causing you to sin and work with all your strength to stop. But how glorious was the gospel presented!
The gospel message in this course changed my world; it was as if a switch flipped taking me from darkness to light. My chains of sin shattered. I knew I was free because Jesus had paid the price to free me, that by His death he had ransomed my life and had killed the old man inside of me. This is the first time in over 14 years that I have felt free, and it is all because I have relied on Jesus. He has done all the work for me, may His name be praised forever!"
Question 9. What are your thoughts about Phillip's testimony? Does it encourage you? Please share.
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