Alex writes, Alex writes, "I grew up in a loving home, although it was not a Christian home. I saw pornography for the first time, at the age of 6-7 years old and as a teenager, I started to get lost in pornography at the houses of friends whose fathers had those kinds of magazines. It was the beginning of a spiral downward into sin and hopelessness that continued through high school, college, graduate school, and into my 30s in my marriage. In my 30s, I was so lost in pornography and self-gratification that it consumed hours of my time almost every day. I was neglecting work, my marriage, and my family, and everything around me was falling apart. I felt like I had a huge dark crater in the middle of my chest that I had to try to hide from others. I wanted my situation to change, but I did not want to leave my sin, and I even refused to think that my habitual sin had any influence on the other areas of my fragmented life. I was a slave to sin in every way, the enemy had me in deep bondage, with iron chains that I could never hope to break.
"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace, you have been saved." Ephesians 2:4,5
But God! Two of the most amazing and wonderful words in the Bible! By His great grace and love, the Lord intervened in my life and my family's. The Lord got my wife’s attention, and she started going to church, then I started going with her. I began to hear the gospel, that Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins, and the Lord started softening my hard heart, showing me my great need for salvation and for Jesus as my Savior.
After about a year, I found myself answering an altar call, and the very next day, I had a desire to start reading the Bible for myself. I was 38 years old when the Lord poured out His grace and love into my heart through the Holy Spirit, and He gave me a new heart. I began to read in the Bible how much God hates sin, and I knew that my sin was grievous to Him. I also read about Jesus and how He showed us God’s grace and love, how He ministered to all who came to Him and didn’t turn anyone away. I read in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that, “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
And even though I felt something new inside of me and my life was changing, I was still viewing pornography and sinning, so I prayed earnestly that the Lord would make this verse true in my life. In His grace, the Lord placed my family in a good, gospel-preaching church, and as He opened my heart to His grace more and more, pornography was less and less of a draw.
One day, in November 2001, after viewing pornography, the Lord showed me very clearly His great hatred for my sin, and by His grace, that was the last day that I viewed pornography. He also delivered me from self-gratification on that day, and apart from one fall 4 years ago, He has kept self-gratification out of my life. I am by no means sinless, but in His great mercy and love, the Lord has delivered me from the bondage of pornography and self-gratification. Each year has seen more joy in the Lord in my life and my family—my marriage is better than it has ever been and we both love talking about God’s word and His great love, grace, and mercy for us.
I was recently blessed to go through the Setting Captives Free 2.0 course, and the lessons there have strengthened my walk with Christ as I have a new passion for seeing the cross and the gospel every time I study the Bible! The Lord Jesus is so sweet to me and even though He is the King of kings and the Lord of lords, the Creator of all that is, yet He still invites us into a close, loving relationship with Him. He loves us and gave Himself for us, purchasing our salvation on the cross.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast" Ephesians 2:8,9
"I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence, there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11
Jesus will not turn away anyone who comes to Him (John 6:37; Matt 11:28, 29). Turn to Jesus, look to His cross, believe in Him, and your sins will be washed away; you will be given a new heart of joy in Him, you will be set free from habitual sin, and you will dwell securely in His presence forevermore, all by His power and grace (Isaiah 45:22; Numbers 21:8; John 6:40; Isaiah 1:18; 1 Corinthians 6:11; 1 John 1:7; Ezekiel 11:19,20; 1 John 3:4-6; Micah 5:4; Philippians 1:6; Ephesians 1:19; 2:8,9)!
Question 7. What are your thoughts about Alex's testimony? Please share.
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