A Testimony of Transformation
Romans 12:2,"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
I am grateful to God to glorify and honor Him by sharing my testimony. Without the love of God, the gift of His Son and the power of the Holy Spirit I would not be here to share my testimony with you.
I have been a disciple of Jesus for almost 40 years. I have been married for 32 years. I have two grown children, and I serve as a medical missionary overseas. I did not grow up in a Christian home. I grew up in a family of alcoholism and abuse. At the age of 14, I was introduced to pornography and self-gratification and this led to 45 years of enslavement to sexual impurity.
When I became a Christian at age 21, I was so grateful to God to find truth in His Word and to be forgiven of my sins. I thought I understood grace, mercy and the cross, but it was only in my head not in my heart which is why I continued to struggle with enslavement to pornography and self-gratification.
Over the years, I vowed to “Never give in - never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in” (Winston Churchill). I was determined not to walk away from God, but I also doubted that sexual impurity could ever truly leave my life. Seven years into my marriage, I committed adultery. Through counseling, prayer, and by the Grace of God my wife did not leave me but rather extended Christ-like forgiveness towards me. However, even after this, I continued to stumble and fall into pornography and self-gratification.
I tried everything the Church and the world could offer to break free from sexual sin: accountability groups, discipleship relationships, professional counseling, sexual disorder specialists, medication, books, seminars, internet help sites, etc. I took the Setting Captives Free 1.0 Way of Purity course three times and truly learned a lot and even enjoyed several months (once almost a year) away from sexual impurity; but unfortunately, I eventually went back to my sin.
I found myself “gritting my teeth”, trying to exercise “self-control” and “white knuckling” to resist the temptation to give in to sinful desires. I continued to sit in darkness. (Psalm 107:10 “Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness, prisoners suffering in iron chains”). I have been desperate in my life to break free. I refused to give up, but I was discouraged, disillusioned and despondent in not finding true and lasting freedom.
Then I found out that Setting Captives Free 2.0 was available so I came to the new Purity course to see if it would help. The teaching, scripture, testimonies, encouragement, and guidance of my mentor in the new Purity course have been transformative. Philippians 3:20-21 became real for me: "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."
Coming to the Cross afresh, and for the first time in my life understanding God’s amazing love, grace and mercy has transformed my heart and mind. Previously, I intellectually knew the power to change was in the Cross, but I had really never experienced it in my heart. What has happened over the past 6 months (I have taken a very long time to truly study and absorb the 60 lessons of the Purity course) has been that my desires have changed.
Because of the love and grace of God, the example of the sacrifice of Jesus and the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit, my desires have changed from wanting impurity to wanting a more intimate relationship with my Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I no longer desire to fill the longings and needs of my heart with things of this world and sexual impurity – my desire is for God.
I have replaced many of the things I used to do (secular books, movies, TV shows, alcohol, surfing the internet) with worship, music, sermons, lessons, fellowship and deep and consistent conversations and prayers daily. My desires have been to draw close and to “saturate” myself in God's incredible love. I wear a cross now (may seem insignificant, but something I had never done) to touch at times of temptation and to remind me of the powerful sacrificial love of Christ and the Cross. I now go to the Cross of Christ each and every day. Daily I pray Psalm 91 for God’s angels to protect me from falling, from the flaming arrows of the enemy (temptation) and from forces of evil. I have gratefully and joyfully found freedom from the desires of sexual impurity.
While I am not perfect, I have been so grateful to God for days, weeks and months of purity. And even when I have stumbled, I have repented within hours – no longer days or weeks of being immersed in sexual impurity. The power of the cross has been TRANSFORMATIVE. My heart and my mind have been transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit, the grace and mercy of the Father and the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross.
For once and finally, I AM FREE!
2 Corinthians 3:18 "And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
Question 1. How long was Kevin ensnared in impurity and what things did he try, during that time, to be free?
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Question 2. When Jesus' love came to Kevin at the cross, what specifically did he say had changed? (He put this in italics!)
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